Dia 2 Things that I learned today. 💡

I learned a few things today.

First I was really excited about my appointment with the Psychologist, I've never done therapy and I thought that after my first session I would be able to look things differently but I actually ended up feeling worse, the therapist said that it was normal because I explained to her all the things that made me feel bad, and talking about it is never pleasant, also she said that there's nothing that can be done about the divorce because that's what you wanted and I have to respect that. but she was really nice regardless, she is a CBT therapist Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a short-term, goal-oriented psychotherapy treatment that takes a hands-on, practical approach to problem-solving. Its goal is to change patterns of thinking or behavior that are behind people's difficulties, and so change the way they feel. which means that she gonna help me to find the root of my behavior and modify it, without making it painful to me, or feeling that people wants to change me, she will give me techniques to approach my problems instead of me just "trying to be different" because we would find the root of those things instead of just treating the symptoms, also made me feel a little better by acknowledging that even if the situation made me feel that things were my fault, there's never 100% my fault and that there's a middle point that we probably are not seeing, also she explained to me that while we talk she can grab and double check my behaviors and help me to express myself in a way that other people can understands me, because I told her that I avoid confrontation and that I run away from problems, that I wasn't good at communication. it was an amazing therapy session and I feel hopeful because maybe not with you but I could be happy at some point, she told me that she understands everything I explained to her and that t actually makes sense; I don't think I'm getting crazy, she also told me that the fact that she understands me doesn't mean that everybody will,  and that people have different perspectives but that doesn't mean it's wrong or okay. I felt good, hopefully I can get another session with her next week because we gonna start making exercises to change my behavior and I couldn't be more excited, I don't want to turn like my mom or your dad. Even if it looks like I do, I just understands why but I don't really enjoy the consequences that it brings me.

Today I Also Learn about an experiment to see if your marriage can be saved.

Do I have time to do it? no, because I don't have five days. but here's what it explains:

The differences on the marriage are the ones that make it interesting, the differences are essential to a marriage but they also creates conflict.

70% of the problems in relationships every single one of them, happy and unhappy are unsolvable, the difference between the healthy and unhealthy marriages is how they handle the problems.

4 Horsemen of the apocalypse in every marriage are

• Criticism
• Defensiveness
• Contempt
• Stone walling 

5 Days Experiment 

95:5 % of commitment. as soon as we think that everything would be better if the other person just... or if the other person do... that's criticism, while taking 95% of the marriage responsibility leaves your spouse out of criticism and let you focus in what you can do.

25: 5 "25 things you are grateful for,  (25 each day, different each day)13 being about your spouse or marriage as it is right now"

Daily Triple Play

Give

Social Gifts. 

1. Appreciation, 

2. connection, celebrate your things in common.

3. Enlightenment "Start with did you know? did you hear?

4.Elevation, Lift your spouse, smile, 

Send

a message that you value this relationship and that you're willing to do what's required to make this work. 5 times 

Serve 

serve your spouse, try to find a way to find something special to serve your espause.

Live On Purpose TV

Es fácil decir que todo sana, que todo pasa, que la vida sigue, lo que es Dificil es dejar ir esos momentos compartidos, esas navidades, esos cumpleaños, las citas, las sonrisas, las bromas, las risas, saber que esos serian los últimos, de haberlo sabido los hubiera disfrutado al máximo, habría disfrutado cada segundo, muchas veces dicen que en un divorcio uno tiene una visión distorsionada y tiende a aferrarse más a los momentos buenos, que uno tiende a apreciar y valorar cosas que no valoraba antes, o a entender que cosas que uno daba por sentado ya no estarán más ahí. Mucha gente dice que no te preocupes, que pasara lo mejor para ti, que todo estará bien y que dios te dará lo que necesitas para seguir, pero hace días que no

se como

seguir, quisiera despertar y que me digan que era una broma, o una prueba, que era para ver si me dolía, o para ver si reaccionaba, quisiera ponerle pausa al dolor, ir a dormir y no despertar pero ni dormir puedo, me despierto con un nudo en la garganta, con mí estomago hecho un lio. Entiendo que ya es tarde para todo, para cualquier intento, para cualquier medida, pero me siento triste porque siento que no agotamos las medidas, no hicimos todo lo que se podía para salvar el amor que había, no hicimos lo suficiente, pero ya es tarde.

Live & Learn 

Heal & Grow

 

Ahora tomare un baño y algo para dormir, tengo varias opciones de a donde ir a partir del lunes y aunque ninguna es mi preferida o lo que soñaba porque mi sueño era arrugarme contigo, la doctora me dijo que me enfocara en el aqui y ahora, entonces como no puedo solucionarlo solo me queda sopesar mis opciones para decidir que hacer.

Buscar un trabajo nuevo, mudarme de la casa, me duele mucho dejarte muñeca pero quiero sentir esperanza por lo que vendrá, ya cuando pase un poco la tormenda del Covid19 me ire oara Sto Dgo, quiero sentirme mejor, y aunque se que mis emociones estaran como un sube y baja o una montaña rusa, "sintiendome mal ahora y mejor en un rato, despues mal de nuevo y luego mejor otra vez" tengo que hacerlo por mi paz y bienestar emocional, como tu dices, la paz esta en uno mismo. 

Buenas Noches en caso de que leas esto.